Probably I should have called this “another one of my neuroses” but that title isn’t very catchy, is it?

Anyway, I write explicit, erotic, m/m romance.  I’ve had people ask how I, as a straight woman, can write gay male sex (I have a great imagination) and what do I do for research (not a lot 😉 ).  Authors always have to imagine themselves in another’s point of view, often someone of a different gender.  They have to imagine, and make the reader believe in, a character whose experiences, beliefs, background, culture, family, job and emotions are different from their own.

Romance authors regularly write about men having sex, from the man’s point of view and often quite graphically.  Do I know, truly, what it’s like for a man to have sex with a woman?  Nope.  But as far as I’m concerned, it’s not that much more of a stretch for me to imagine what it’s like for a man to have sex with another man.  If I have questions, I’ve got friends I can ask, and there’s also the handy-dandy internet… hence the porn part of the equation.

Now, I’ve watched porn, both gay and straight (although not as much as you’d think).  Sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s bad and sometimes it makes me terribly uncomfortable.

Good porn (IMO) has a plot and story – hey, I’m a writer!  Bad porn… well, there’s a bunch of reasons for it, depending on taste.

Then there’s the squicky porn.  And I’m not talking about specific sex acts (although I can think of several acts that would fall under ‘squicky’ and ‘bad’).  In the back of my mind ALWAYS is the concern that there’s some sort of coercion or exploitation involved.  So if I see porn where the participants don’t appear to be enjoying themselves… well… that brings the exploitation concerns forward and slaps an ick factor on the whole thing.

But I also feel the same type of discomfort when I’m getting a pedicure.  It feels so ‘lady of the manor’, like I’m oppressing the masses or exploiting them.  So, I get pedicures – I like the result but hate the experience, and I watch porn on occasion, knowing there may be times where I feel incredibly guilty for doing so.

Am I being super sensitive?  Maybe.  Or, maybe I’m just plain nuts!  I could make a strong argument either way.  🙂