K.C. Burn – Erotic Romance Author

Just got back on Sunday from the Romance Writers of America National Conference in Orlando.  I’m still exhausted, but I had a great time.  I got to meet a few fellow Rainbow Romance Writers at the Literacy signing – where over $55K was raised for literacy organizations – pretty spectacular!  I got to meet new and aspiring authors, connect with others I’d already met and hung out with good friends.  I also had dinner at the same table with the fabulous Angela James during the Carina Press dinner.  Yes, you read that right.  There was a good reason (I’ll be posting details shortly) I was attending that dinner!  That same reason also entitled me to go to the Harlequin party… hoo… some wild women there!  It was a HUGE blast.

I’m not a conference virgin, exactly, although my previous conferences were much smaller – in the realm of 300 participants.  This was 2100.  Lots of standing in line, although not for the restrooms.  The majority of the men’s rooms were turned into women’s by hotel management – the few men in attendance had quite a hike every time nature called!

There wasn’t enough time to do everything, whether from conflicting commitments or from the absolute, undeniable need for a nap.  And even though I’d decided I wasn’t going to kill myself trying to make it to all the workshops, I was still overwhelmed.

Writing is a solitary endeavor and although conferences are a fantastic way to connect with other writers – ease the solitude a bit – many of us have the same trait.  We’re happiest inside our own heads, which can make it difficult or stressful to socialize, especially with 2000 strangers!  I’m shy and get a little freaked out by crowds.  However, I was able to avoid cowering behind planters, for the most part.  And I’m looking forward to attending next year’s conference in New York City.

One really awesome thing?  I was (mostly) forthright about what genre I write in.  I didn’t get the stink eye from anyone.  When I was at a smaller conference last year, I not only got the stink eye, but the ‘cut direct’ I do believe it’s called, by two women at dinner one night.  Of course, that was before I had my contract with Loose Id, so I was unable to justify sticking out my tongue and giving them a raspberry.  Probably I should have anyway, but I do occasionally make attempts at decorum.  Everyone I met at RWA was, if not truly accepting, then at least they hid it extremely well.

During Nationals there are several awards ceremonies held by various chapters related to writing contests, but the biggest one is the national contest – the Golden Hearts for unpublished writers and the RITAs for published writers.  As a large organization that’s been around for thirty years, RWA has made great strides in getting romance recognition as a valid genre.  But its size and longevity also means it’s not going to be as agile as everyone might hope to changes in the publishing world, specifically the explosion of ebooks.  I mean, neither contest has a category for erotic romances and I would be unlikely to enter a GLBT book at this time anyway.  But the acceptance I found from other writers at the conference gives me hope for the future… Is it wrong for me to covet one of the RITAs for myself?

I learned a lot while I was there – definitely things about craft and what publishers might be looking for – but here’s some practical advice from a now-expert Nationals attendee:  Bring comfortable shoes & a spare suitcase for books.

Wow.  Just about everything that’s happened with MIA Case Files: Wolfsbane has been awesome.  Getting an offer to publish it with Loose Id, being able to say I have an editor, going through edits (which I probably shouldn’t have found as pleasurable as I did), seeing my cover art, getting the final version, seeing my book on Loose Id’s home page… each and every one of those experiences has been pretty spectacular.  But I’d be lying if I said the allure of holding a physical book in my hand with my words printed on the pages had nothing to do with my desire to write for publication.   Of course, I wanted to share my vision and the characters in my head with the world at large, but holding a book in my hand feels like the culmination of that vision, and it’s an awesome feeling.  I may have… ahem… been fondling my author copies obsessively since they arrived. 
Print format available at Amazon and Books A Million.

Having a netbook has made me a lot more productive. Not having to lug about a 5 lb. laptop everywhere, with it’s limited battery life, has been a huge improvement. Considering my bag looks like I’m preparing for the Apocalypse, having a 5 lb. brick in it wasn’t doing my back any good.

I also spend time on the weekends with a couple of friends of mine in a cafe, and we all write in between chatting. With the big laptop, I felt a little bit like I was participating from behind a Dungeon Master’s screen.

So, smaller, lighter and better battery life equals more writing. Which is awesome. Now, I was still using my heavy laptop, with the netbook as a peripheral, partly because of the bigger screen, and partly because of the CD/DVD drive.

However, when the motherboard on my laptop died, I wasn’t exactly thrilled, but I wasn’t freaked out either (I had a backup of everything except my damned iTunes… but that will just be extra work, not expense because I own CDs of just about everything in my iTunes). I didn’t have to panic. I didn’t have to delay writing. I didn’t have to worry about appropriating my SO’s computer for my own nefarious ends In fact, I wondered if maybe I didn’t need to replace my laptop at all. But then, I discovered two very important things.

First, I had to work on a power point presentation for work. Using power point on a netbook is like Gulliver using a Lilliputian computer. I thought I only reserved cursing like that for driving. Incredibly frustrating. Spreadsheets kinda suck on the netbook, too.

Secondly, I discovered I HATE updating my site on the netbook. There’s just not enough screen. So, I went out this weekend to replace the laptop. Got one that seems okay, and was reasonably priced, but I couldn’t buy a three year warranty for it, only a two year warranty. Guess that means I should just start saving now for a replacement in two years, eh?

Regardless, I’ve managed to churn out about 100K words so far this year, as well as edit two manuscripts for submission, and I attribute that entirely to my netbook with its increased portability. If only I could as easily justify purchasing a smart phone…

Pens and pencils – are they completely defunct tools for a writer? I use a computer and netbook (although I’ve yet to get a multimedia phone) but I have to say, I’m still a little old school. Editing on the computer is almost impossible or me. I try to make the font and margins really small so I use less paper, but I NEED the paper.

I use a pencil to edit. One that needs sharpening. It just feels right in my hand, in a way that a mechanical pencil never does. Is that an echo of the uncomplicated life in kindergarten? Maybe. Probably. I may… er… have a large collection of sparkly pencils.

Pens I’ll use for writing longhand. I don’t write longhand very often (I’m not truly a dinosaur or a luddite) but there’s times when you gotta write even if using the darling netbook is impractical. Like when I’m flying. Invariably, I sit behind someone who needs to recline their seat. Which I’ve never understood. Do those two or three inches of “reclining” make any improvement at all? All it does is make it impossible to set up a computer on those itty, bitty table trays.

So, I write longhand on planes. Fortunately, my handwriting is sufficiently hieroglyphic-like that my seat mates are unlikely to determine what I’m writing about. It takes twice as long, because I also have to transcribe what I wrote. And sometimes I can’t even read what I wrote.

This weekend though, we went to a wedding in Detroit. On the way home, not only did no one sit in front of me, hubby and I got the row to ourselves, so I made him move over one. I got to use TWO table trays – and I transcribed the stuff I wrote longhand on the plane on the way to the wedding. Awesome.

I’ve thought about getting a digital voice recorder, but I can’t imagine too many situations where I could actually discuss aloud options for stories. Probably I’ll just stick with pen and pencil. And my netbook, of course. It’s worked so far.

WARNING: Content may be explicit, sexual or offensive. Read the below at your own risk, and only if you are over 18.

For my final blog entry for vocabulary month, I’m going to discuss one of my favourite topics – expletives. Swear words, curse words – I love them. They’re littered in my writing and when I’m driving, I’m either singing or swearing.

Most expletives are often terms related to anatomy, bodily functions or religion.  Despite that, or maybe because of it, I do like them. And I KNOW I’m not the only one. They’re gritty and emphatic. They can provide shock value.  They can say a lot with very few letters.

Let’s take one of the best known expletives: fuck. For example, Sean Michael is trying for the most number of f-bombs on a single page. I’ve read a number of Sean’s books, and can’t believe this goal hasn’t been reached But I’ve never found it excessive, because fuck is such a useful, versatile word and Sean wields it like a master. The Onion, as they are wont to do, has taken it to an amusing extreme, and manages to deaden the impact of the word.

Which is definitely not the goal when using expletives in writing. Often the use of expletives, as well as the choice of a particular swear word, can provide insight into personality, emotion, circumstance and thought process. Expletives in writing should be used with purpose, and not as filler.  There’s a big difference between a character who habitually thinks of women as bitches, one who calls a woman a bitch while under the influence of a specific situation or emotion and one who calls a man a bitch. There’s a difference between characters who don’t swear at all, who swear only rarely, and those who swear all the time.

Anyway, back to fuck. It’s an especially flexible word. It can and has been used as a noun, verb, adjective and possibly adverb, although I can’t think of any specific examples offhand. One of the things I find quite amusing is that, despite its colloquial adaptations, Word does not recognize the many and varied ways I insert the word into my writing. For instance, for the phrase “can’t fucking wait”, Word is pretty sure I meant to say “can’t fuck wait”. Uh. No.

Or there’s the “passive voice” label on the phrase “getting fucked”. Okay, I suppose it’s possible that the person on the receiving end is passive, but that’s not how Word means it. “Getting fucked” is sometimes the right expression, no matter what issues Word has with it.

One time I complained to a friend about my need for creative expletives. She primly (which is highly uncharacteristic) replied that good writing shouldn’t need swear words. Then I made her read the manuscript. Her first response – “Oh, I get it.” Swearing was an integral part of one of the characters, and taking it away would have fundamentally changed who he was.

Some of my friends are completely awesome at developing an expletive lexicon. Maybe you’ve heard of some of these before (I hadn’t, before some very interesting emails), but I assure you, they’ll weave their way into my writing at some point.

Crotchfruit – in case it’s not obvious, this means children
ultrafuckwastedly hammerfied – that would be drunk
asswookieeness – this refers to being an asshole
asshat – asshole. Okay, I’ve seen this one several places, but it’s such a fun word!
Fuckputz – asshole, again.
Turdburgler – uh, ditto.
Twatwaffle – idiot (I got tired of typing asshole. But this word makes me giggle!)
Douchenozzle – also idiot/asshole, although I have to say, not sure how this particular configuration (or its brethren, douchebag) came to have this meaning.

So, I’m not exactly asking for a litany of swear words, but if you’ve got some extra good ones, feel free to comment. I’ll probably have to approve them – my spam filter for comments is quite rabid.

What’s on tap for the vocabulary post today? Naughty words. I’m saving the expletives post for later, so not that naughty. But let’s just say my mind is always in the gutter. That doesn’t mean that I know all the various terms, slang and colloquialisms to express myself. Or more specifically, my dirty thoughts. I have heard LOTS of inappropriate words (I’m friends with a large number of boys) but I don’t always remember what the darn expressions mean when I’m writing. Or reading.

I remember reading one particular erotic novel once where I kept having to ask my husband “Is this really what this term means?” or “I thought this meant…” I was reasonably sure I knew the definition for pearl necklace, but hey, it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve been wrong! Nope. Turns out, I was confused because some of the terms were being used incorrectly.

Which brings me to the main point of this post. Urban Dictionary. It’s an invaluable resource for erotic writers, especially when you want to include slang terms for sexual acts or descriptions. Now, it can sometimes be a little annoying, as the definitions are submitted by readers, and rated for accuracy & appeal (not EXACTLY Wikipedia-like). But it’s helped me find a number of descriptors, such as a term for a young male prostitute, or an older gay man searching for hookups. It’s use isn’t confined solely to the sexual, though. The site is also extremely useful for any sort of current slang or common texting short forms (for those of us in the demographic that remembers computer memory measured in KB).

Now, as I’ve said, I’m an Urban Dictionary user. My mind is in the gutter. So, the humour in this next little bit is all because I have a dirty mind. In a very innocent surrounding, with some very nice people, someone threw out the term teabagging as a marketing tactic (i.e. using teabags for promotion). Pretty sure I was the only one in the room who had to choke down a laugh… Don’t know what teabagging is? Run on over to Urban Dictionary… run! And if you’re ever in a marketing meeting, don’t suggest it!

P.S. If you’ve read past posts, you may remember me mentioning word of the day. Guess what? You can sign up for Urban Dictionary’s word of the day. Hint: DO NOT use a work email address for this!

I have several writing rituals that help me stay focused, or stimulate my creativity, or write better — at least, I hope I’m continuing to improve!

Sunlight is absolutely disastrous to my creativity. Not for the reason you’d think, though. I find I can concentrate better if I’m not aware of the passage of time. I’m a bit of a vampire at the best of times, and I was happiest writing in my old office in our basement apartment. It had NO windows. It was like a cave!

So, naturally, we moved to Florida, the state of no basements. I keep the blinds closed all the time, now. The cats, I think, are blissfully unaware that they live in a place called the Sunshine State. If cats needed sunlight to make vitamin D, ours would have rickets

I also love writing during my lunch hour. It breaks up my work day, and the dryness of my day job means that there are TONS of creative juices dying to splurt out on the page.

Editing takes almost as long (for me) as writing does. I have several stages that I complete before I feel I’ve got a finished manuscript. The final one, however, is to read it aloud. Helps me check for flow, awkward phrasing or sentences that are too long.

If you’ve read my book, though, you can probably understand why I may not want an audience! Naturally, this editing phase is NEVER conducted in public. Not even in front of my husband, who is extremely supportive.

The cats, on the other hand, make an attentive and (mostly) non-judgmental audience. I’ve been entertaining them almost daily for the past week with my current work in progress. They do enjoy a good story involving cocks and balls… chickens and rubber bouncy balls, of course – wink, wink.

I was recently asked if I took courses to become a writer. I had to answer no. Sure, I’ve taken courses to learn different things. I fully expect to take more courses throughout my life to do what I can to hone my skill, such as it is But a course to become a writer? No. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an innate desire to document the nonsense in my head.

So, is that the difference between writers and non-writers? Maybe. I think writing is certainly a skill that can be learned through courses, but the desire to let people into your imagination via the page is probably innate. Something you’re born with. Now, I think most people have one book in them. People are always saying “I should write a book”. And their idea is often good. But it’s not easy, and finishing one, never mind several, takes drive and sometimes masochism. But one book does not make a writer. It’s that continued effort, whether or not there’s any remuneration.

This same person who asked about courses said they were afraid of creative writing courses because they could never think of anything to write about. Well, I don’t think I’ve EVER had that problem. If I were to write out all the plot lines I’ve jotted down as viable story ideas, I would be writing for decades. Ideas are never the problem, it’s finding the time to tackle them.

Ideas. I have tons. I think all writers do. Writers block is probably not a dearth of ideas, but more likely something wrong in the execution of the current idea. Maybe there’s a gaping plot hole that the writer is only subconsciously aware of. Maybe they’re trying to force themselves to write a story or characters that they don’t like or don’t believe in. But I think writers have ideas. They come from everywhere. Everything that happens to me is automatically analyzed for its potential value for a story. Most of my life is too mundane to bother with, but that doesn’t stop it happening. From the other authors and aspiring writers I’ve spoken to, I’m not alone in that.

Ideas and innate desire to put those ideas on the page. That’s why I’m a writer. It’s why I’ll always be a writer. Even if it makes my mother wrinkle her nose in disdain. (Ahem. She may not be aware of my new release…)

Were you thinking I’d tell you how to get published? Nope. That’s a completely different issue!

As a writer, I can find story or plot or character ideas just about anywhere. Books, television, movies, newspaper articles, dreams… these all twig my creativity. I also find myself inspecting the occasional stranger who has a look that might work for a character. Adam, in my new release, was primarily inspired by a guy I saw eating at an Indian restaurant… his appearance was, anyway. I already knew who Adam was as a person because he’d been making himself known to me for quite a while.

One time, though, it backfired, and months later, I’m still pissed at this guy for ruining my creative train of thought. I was driving and pulled up at a stop light. In my rear view mirror, I saw a guy on a motorcycle. Young (practically a miracle in Florida), good looking, dark hair that matched his black leather jacket, a bit of dark stubble, sunglasses. Within seconds, I was spinning a bad-boy, undercover agent persona. Oh, yeah, I was almost ready to pull over and start writing.

Then, the light turned green. I pulled onto the highway. The guy on the motorcycle passed me. As it turns out, the cycle was fitted with handle bars so high that he looked like a bug clinging to a window or a gibbon. Turns out, though, a gibbon was the correct answer. I found out later those handle bars were called “ape hangers”. However much the handlebars may be appreciated by the bikers who use them, it COMPLETELY destroyed the character I’d been building in my mind. Sad. I hope one day I can pretend I never saw the ape hangers, and go back to that “oh, he’d be perfect” mind set. Because I’m still mad and I’m mourning the loss of that nameless character.

Squeeee! I have cover art!
Everything about this first release of mine has been a joy. My editor is a pleasure to work with, and clearly my cover artist, Croco Designs, is awesome. All in all, it’s been a total high from the day Loose Id said they wanted to see the full manuscript. And that’s not including how much fun I had writing the book. I’d love to share a release date, too, but that’s still forthcoming. Spring is the best I can do! For now, though, I’ve posted a short blurb below. You might guess it involves werewolves

MIA Case Files: Wolfsbane – coming Spring 2010

Agent Lachlan Carmichael has a job to do. A portal is open in Rothburg, and this time the Umbrae passing through it are creating werewolves. He needs to close the portal, even if it means losing two-thirds of the people possessed by the Umbrae.

So what if Adam Farelli, the town’s screw-up, is the sexiest man he’s ever seen? Carmichael’s been content to live with ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ for most of his life. A gorgeous, shiftless layabout isn’t going to convince him to step out of the closet.

When Carmichael needs Adam’s help to close the portal, Carmichael is unable to resist the temptation Adam represents. But his lies and lack of trust put Adam in danger when one of the werewolves, obsessed with Adam, kidnaps him. Even if Carmichael can save the man he loves, will Adam forgive him for his deception and mistrust?