K.C. Burn – Erotic Romance Author

So.  Spam.  Everyone hates it, and for the most part, it’s pernicious and malicious.  I use gmail, and gmail is pretty darn good at catching spam (and a few not-spam, but you can’t expect perfection, right?)  But, spam also has its humourous side.

I have what we’ll call a “business” email address, which is where people interested in my book (hopefully soon to be plural!) can contact me.  It’s this email that I use for commenting on blogs, joining yahoo groups, etc., etc.  I also have a personal email address for friends and family.  Not that the two don’t cross, but having two addresses makes it easier for me to keep track.

Spammers seem to think that I, personally, am acquainted with penises that are too small.  They are quite anxious to increase the size of those penises.  Of course, clearly I need Viagra, too.  Because what good are bigger dicks if they don’t work?  And if they’re bigger, and work… uh… overtime, perhaps I would feel the need for some sort of narcotic or muscle relaxant.

Surely, given what I write, you’d think there would be an algorithm or something to direct such spam in a more “appropriate” direction, namely, my writer/business email.

Am I the only one who sees the connection?  Instead, the spammers seem to think my writer persona  is in desperate need of search engine optimization and increasing my web traffic (okay, that might be true).  But I’ve yet to get any porn or penis enlarging spam in my writer inbox – not that I’m trying to elicit any, I’m just amused by the irony.

Come visit me today at Naughty Author Chicks!

I’m guest blogging about guilty pleasures and giving away a copy of my new release, as well as a gift certificate to Starbucks.

Come and play with the Naughty Author Chicks!

Although my reviews may make it seem like I’m a bit of a one-trick pony (in the completely non-sexual, non-fetish sense), I’ve got other interests! With that in mind, I’m going to review Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

This is one of my favourite books of all time – I might… ahem… be a geeky fan girl. Despite having first read this around twenty years ago (and several times since), many of the lines are still in my lexicon today such as the answer to the meaning of life, “Beware of the Leopard”, the bits about penguins and Marvin the Paranoid Android. Several parts of this book made me laugh out loud – over and over.

Even if you haven’t read the book, I bet you’ve heard of translators called Babel Fish. Guess where that came from? There’s a fish in HHGTTG called the Babel fish that, upon insertion into one’s ear, would translate ALL languages. And please note, this book was written 10 years before the invention of the web!

I love this book so much that I own the original BBC televised version on VHS and DVD. I went to see the remake in the theatre… but I couldn’t quite bring myself to buy it. The actors did a great job, but the script missed all the best lines! I’ve also been to a bar that served a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster shot. It didn’t have the same effect it was supposed to in the book – “like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick” – but I was amused.

Anyway, HHGTTG is the first of five books in, and I quote from the cover of the fifth, Mostly Harmless, “the increasingly inaccurately named Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy”. One reason I’m reviewing this book is that I just picked up the sixth part of the trilogy, And Another Thing. Now, Douglas Adams died several years ago (I was quite upset) and part six is not written by him. I’m curious to see what Eoin Colfer does with it, but I need to read the whole series again before I do!

Right, this is supposed to be a review, not an homage to the brilliance of Douglas Adams. What can I say? Douglas Adams created absurd, hilarious situations and quirky characters all the while poking fun at and spoofing the human condition. The blurb (on the back of one of my copies, anyway) says:

On Thursday lunchtime the Earth gets unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass. For Arthur Dent, who has only just had his house demolished that morning, this seems already to be more than he can cope with. Sadly, however, the weekend has only just began, and the Galaxy is a very strange and startling place.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s little out there that’s funnier, and because the book deals primarily with aliens and is set in outer space, very little of it seems dated. As much as I like to read, there’s very few books that will make me laugh out loud, let alone while I’m surrounded by strangers on public transit. Yep, that happened. I shut the book. Got myself under control. Opened the book. And laughed out loud again. So, yeah, I love it and think everyone should read it!

Oops! Forgot to link back to the challenge!

I was a teenager in the 80’s. With influences like Frankie Goes to Hollywood and Erasure (who, IMHO, give the BEST concerts) and the public outing of a few celebrities, I was certainly aware of gay people. Not to trivialize how courageous it is to come out (and it saddens me that it should ever be an ordeal) but I think it’s probably easier to do so now than it was 15, 20, 30 years ago. So, to the best of my knowledge at the time, I did not know any gay people personally – I have since found out that I was wrong.

What I did know, was that in the late 80’s/early 90’s, I fell in love with a fictional character who happened to be gay. Vanyel Ashkevron from Mercedes Lackey’s Last Herald Mage of Valdemar series is still one of my favourite characters, and I’ve reread the series dozens of times. His sexual orientation is a great source of conflict for him and he’s so easy to relate to. He’s a good person, but he’s got his bad habits and a tendency to react in very human, albeit not always admirable, ways. What he does have is enormous strength of character and it doesn’t take long before you’re rooting for him, one-hundred percent.

Throughout the series, he ends up loving two different men (completely PG), and the relationships are heartwarming, heartbreaking and so beautiful. Totally gave me the warm fuzzies inside. When he meets the second love of his life, Vanyel is skittish from years of disappointment and sorrow, and has decided celibacy is the best course of action. Stef melts his resolve (he would melt anyone, I’m sure). The scene where the two of them finally get together is one of the sweetest, most heartwarming scenes I can recall. The ending is beautiful and made me cry happy tears — and I HATE crying for any reason!

The books are considered fantasy, not romance, and of course, the fantasy elements are spectacular, but I have to say, it was the romance and characterization that stuck with me.

I like to think I’d be open and accepting of all races, religions and sexual orientation, regardless – after all, I did grow up in a very diverse city — but I’m betting that reading about Vanyel at such an impressionable age probably had a huge impact on my worldview. And I’m extremely glad of it – and grateful to Mercedes Lackey.

I have several writing rituals that help me stay focused, or stimulate my creativity, or write better — at least, I hope I’m continuing to improve!

Sunlight is absolutely disastrous to my creativity. Not for the reason you’d think, though. I find I can concentrate better if I’m not aware of the passage of time. I’m a bit of a vampire at the best of times, and I was happiest writing in my old office in our basement apartment. It had NO windows. It was like a cave!

So, naturally, we moved to Florida, the state of no basements. I keep the blinds closed all the time, now. The cats, I think, are blissfully unaware that they live in a place called the Sunshine State. If cats needed sunlight to make vitamin D, ours would have rickets

I also love writing during my lunch hour. It breaks up my work day, and the dryness of my day job means that there are TONS of creative juices dying to splurt out on the page.

Editing takes almost as long (for me) as writing does. I have several stages that I complete before I feel I’ve got a finished manuscript. The final one, however, is to read it aloud. Helps me check for flow, awkward phrasing or sentences that are too long.

If you’ve read my book, though, you can probably understand why I may not want an audience! Naturally, this editing phase is NEVER conducted in public. Not even in front of my husband, who is extremely supportive.

The cats, on the other hand, make an attentive and (mostly) non-judgmental audience. I’ve been entertaining them almost daily for the past week with my current work in progress. They do enjoy a good story involving cocks and balls… chickens and rubber bouncy balls, of course – wink, wink.

As a Canadian, I grew up watching Doctor Who. Now, Doctor Who is not nearly so iconic in Canada as in the UK, but there’s definitely a strong following. When the BBC decided to start again with Christopher Eccleston, I was thrilled. I was even more thrilled when they brought David Tennant in to replace Christopher Eccleston (I’m reserving judgment on the new Doctor). But one of the all time greatest characters emerged from this reinvention of Doctor Who — Captain Jack Harkness. Capt. Jack is one of the coolest, most attractive, most charming characters I have ever seen. How much of that is the writing and how much can be attributed to the skill of the actor (John Barrowman) behind Capt. Jack? I have no idea. But Capt. Jack was captivating from his very first appearance in Doctor Who, and I was completely ready and willing to follow his spin-off, Torchwood.

I was NOT disappointed. Torchwood was edgier, darker, and had a hero (Capt. Jack) who described himself as omnisexual. In fact, Jack’s whole crew was rather flexible in the sexuality department, which was fascinating in and of itself – I can only assume the UK viewing audience is more liberal, and they get a thumbs-up for that! Go UK! Regardless, the series was enjoyable and the developing relationship between Jack and one of his crew, Ianto Jones, was touching.

SPOILER ALERT. I know there are groups out there lobbying for the return of Torchwood and the survival of Ianto (e.g. Save Ianto Jones). Things looked very dismal for him at the end of Children of Earth, the third and possibly final season of Torchwood. Of course, that’s the beauty of sci-fi. There may be a way to bring him back. Torchwood has brought people back from the dead, although, they weren’t exactly… right. With proper alien technology, though, it could happen. And yet, part of Capt. Jack’s emotional torture stems from people he cares about continuing to die, threatening his sanity each time it happens. I adored Ianto, but I totally understand if, should the series renew, he remains dead.

Of course, I was reminded of all this by an article in which Capt. Jack and Ianto were named #1 and #3 (respectively) on AfterElton’s Top 50 Gay Characters. It seems I’m not alone in my appreciation for these two and Torchwood. Bring ‘em back, please! And find a way to keep Capt. Jack shirtless more often!

I was recently asked if I took courses to become a writer. I had to answer no. Sure, I’ve taken courses to learn different things. I fully expect to take more courses throughout my life to do what I can to hone my skill, such as it is But a course to become a writer? No. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had an innate desire to document the nonsense in my head.

So, is that the difference between writers and non-writers? Maybe. I think writing is certainly a skill that can be learned through courses, but the desire to let people into your imagination via the page is probably innate. Something you’re born with. Now, I think most people have one book in them. People are always saying “I should write a book”. And their idea is often good. But it’s not easy, and finishing one, never mind several, takes drive and sometimes masochism. But one book does not make a writer. It’s that continued effort, whether or not there’s any remuneration.

This same person who asked about courses said they were afraid of creative writing courses because they could never think of anything to write about. Well, I don’t think I’ve EVER had that problem. If I were to write out all the plot lines I’ve jotted down as viable story ideas, I would be writing for decades. Ideas are never the problem, it’s finding the time to tackle them.

Ideas. I have tons. I think all writers do. Writers block is probably not a dearth of ideas, but more likely something wrong in the execution of the current idea. Maybe there’s a gaping plot hole that the writer is only subconsciously aware of. Maybe they’re trying to force themselves to write a story or characters that they don’t like or don’t believe in. But I think writers have ideas. They come from everywhere. Everything that happens to me is automatically analyzed for its potential value for a story. Most of my life is too mundane to bother with, but that doesn’t stop it happening. From the other authors and aspiring writers I’ve spoken to, I’m not alone in that.

Ideas and innate desire to put those ideas on the page. That’s why I’m a writer. It’s why I’ll always be a writer. Even if it makes my mother wrinkle her nose in disdain. (Ahem. She may not be aware of my new release…)

Were you thinking I’d tell you how to get published? Nope. That’s a completely different issue!

I was in a Petco recently for cat supplies. In the line up for the cash register, I was swayed by those ‘last minute’ items. In the grocery store, it’s magazines, gum and chocolate. Those little enticers are small, and you may not have been in the store looking for them, but while you’re waiting in line, you start thinking “hmmm… maybe I could use a mini pack of tissues, or a pocket pen light or a travel sewing kit…” and pop them in with your purchases. Usually, I am able to resist the siren call of the ‘last minute’ items, although I ALWAYS picked up a Weekly World News back when it was still being printed.

So, back to the point. While in the Petco line, I succumbed to cat nip toys for the cats. Not that unusual, right? However, one of the other products in the ‘last minute’ section blew my mind. Small bags of live crickets. Yeah. I’m thinking that anyone who has a pet that requires live crickets, already has those on their shopping list. I can’t imagine standing around in line, thinking “I got the replacement bulb for the heat lamp, a new rock for the lizard…” and then suddenly seeing the bag of crickets. “Right! I could really use some crickets!” How often do you suppose people purchase last minute crickets?

As a writer, I can find story or plot or character ideas just about anywhere. Books, television, movies, newspaper articles, dreams… these all twig my creativity. I also find myself inspecting the occasional stranger who has a look that might work for a character. Adam, in my new release, was primarily inspired by a guy I saw eating at an Indian restaurant… his appearance was, anyway. I already knew who Adam was as a person because he’d been making himself known to me for quite a while.

One time, though, it backfired, and months later, I’m still pissed at this guy for ruining my creative train of thought. I was driving and pulled up at a stop light. In my rear view mirror, I saw a guy on a motorcycle. Young (practically a miracle in Florida), good looking, dark hair that matched his black leather jacket, a bit of dark stubble, sunglasses. Within seconds, I was spinning a bad-boy, undercover agent persona. Oh, yeah, I was almost ready to pull over and start writing.

Then, the light turned green. I pulled onto the highway. The guy on the motorcycle passed me. As it turns out, the cycle was fitted with handle bars so high that he looked like a bug clinging to a window or a gibbon. Turns out, though, a gibbon was the correct answer. I found out later those handle bars were called “ape hangers”. However much the handlebars may be appreciated by the bikers who use them, it COMPLETELY destroyed the character I’d been building in my mind. Sad. I hope one day I can pretend I never saw the ape hangers, and go back to that “oh, he’d be perfect” mind set. Because I’m still mad and I’m mourning the loss of that nameless character.

My release day for Wolfsbane is today! I’m so excited, I don’t know how I’m going to go to work today and not burst! Check it out, from Loose Id.